From a platonic peck on the cheek to a gentle liplock or a full on passionate french kiss, there’s an art to smooching that goes beyond a couple’s chemistry. Sometimes, no matter how much you care about another person, or how much they care about you, their kisses just aren’t right. Here are some tips for getting your pucker partner on the right track.

First of all, try to figure out exactly what it is that you don’t like. Is it sloppy? Too smothering? Too timid? Whatever the problem may be, the more specific you can be in understanding what doesn’t work, the more likely you’ll be to succeed in encouraging what does.

The easiest way to help guide your partner to the kiss you want is to set an example. Kiss unto others as you would have them kiss unto you. Since kissing is a two-way street, there will be moments when you’ll be in the driver’s seat. Make the most of those moments by modeling the type of kiss you’d like to receive.

You can also give cues to your partner about what’s working for you and what’s not. Remember the old game of “you’re getting warmer?” It’s kind of like that, except more subtle. Something you like? Pull in closer or sigh a little. Something you don’t? Pull away a little. Simple as that.

Of course, you can also be direct and tell your partner what you like best, or be even more direct and tell him what you don’t like. Depending on the level of trust in your relationship, this may or may not be an effective strategy.

In an ideal world, of course, love conquers all and the quality of kisses relates directly to the quality of the relationship. Unfortunately, we don’t live in an ideal world. Sometimes experience has more to do with a person’s ability to set off fireworks with a kiss than the passion or compatibility of the partners involved. Patience and understanding goes a long way when you’re searching for that perfect kiss.

If you’re on the other side of the equation and think you might be a bad kisser, take some advice from eHarmony.com and their .